Time Management is For Losers (I’m Just Bitter)

There is currently nothing in my fridge except for an orange, a rotting zucchini, a pack of sodas, and some condiments (is anyone else currently having a dijon mustard hyper fixation?). This would be fine if I had time to go grocery shopping, but that’s a luxury that my schedule can’t afford. My college’s course registration decided to stick me with classes that last from 8am to 7pm on Mondays and Wednesdays, effectively rendering any normally necessary life task (i.e. making lunch, grocery shopping, cleaning) to a second-rung position on my ladder of priorities.

One thing about me, and this is not a brag but a fact, is that I’m exceptionally good at time management. On weekdays I sleep as many hours as is scientifically necessary, and I spend the rest of my day fitting tasks into odd gaps in my schedule (for example, writing this article in the fifteen minute break between two of my classes). I make sure all my devices are always charged and all my work is done and submitted on time. I do all this around a job that takes up hours of my time and concentration. Overall, I’m a fairly productive person who doesn’t waste too much time scrolling or lying in bed – which leads me to the question, how do I not even have time to buy some bread or pre-packaged food to sustain me through the week?

Now, let’s take this article. I started it two weeks ago, when my fridge was empty. I somehow found time to go grocery shopping, but in the last two weeks, have had zero time to continue working on this alongside my schoolwork and job. Let it also be known I have not yet gone shopping this week and my fridge is once again starting to look dangerously empty.

The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics claims that college students spend, on average, 8.8 hours sleeping (can I remember the last time I got 9 hours of sleep on a weekday)?, 3.5 hours on educational activities (there are some days where I spend 11 hours on campus), and 4 hours on leisure and sports (I DREAM of having time to work out daily!). I don’t know which college students they studied, but I certainly don’t know them.

Ultimately, time management is a scam and you’re never going to have enough time in a day to accomplish everything you want, so instead of eating lunch and possibly even including a vegetable or two I’m going to spend my time working because I crave academic validation and have an intense fear of failing. Hopefully you’re different.

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